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Sense the nonsense

Emotional Language: Appeal to love/appeal to trust (argumentum ad amicitiam)

When interacting with people around we often have to face one specific formulation of a demand or request. Especially some of those in relationships and marriages have to deal with this almost regularly. While conflict is nearly inevitable situation which we sooner or later have to deal with, bringing up relationship or trust into it is only rarely a good way to do it.

When your partner disagrees with you and says something like this: “If you do not agree with me, you don’t love me” or “If you really trusted me, then you’d go along with me.” After this kind of request or statement you are put into a very bad position in which you are forced to choose between the two, but obviously there are other solutions. I can deeply love someone without agreeing with what he just said, can’t I? I can also have a general trust in my friend, while not following his lead for some other reasons. Moreover just because of our relationship I can disagree with my friend who is about to take his fourth drink, which would at this point be clearly too much for him.

Therefore it is not right to make demands based solely on a ground of feelings, for they are not by themselves based on a reasonable foundation. However we can surely decide to consent to them anyway, even if they are unreasonable,… but that is a completely different story :). What is important, is that we are aware of this and our own decisions are not merely manipulated by these unfair emotional appeals.

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Posted by on October 27, 2011 in Mission, Sense the nonsense

 

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